I Believe, I Believe, I Believe!


After a day of novel editing yesterday, I got to thinking about my writing journey again.

I have found it to be terribly difficult to make it as a writer.

Yes plenty of services and conferences abound tempting to be the source for all things wise about the craft of writing and breaking into the Literary industry. Twitter, Facebook, blogs, so many avenues to promote yourself, your dream, your work.

Well I’ve subscribed to the avenues. I’ve been to those workshops and festivals and indeed they are incredibly inspiring and motivating. They teach of form and style and how to write in detail. And, as I’ve said before, I come away charged up and ready to jump back into the fray.

But then, when I am alone, sitting before pages I have poured my heart and soul into, spending time with flesh and blood characters that have materialized out of the ether of my imagination, I start to second guess myself.

I have been a writer for a very very long time. Through so many forms, I have enjoyed expressing the inner muse and creating something wonderful or humourous or sad or light… Yet the nagging feeling remains, “Has this all been for naught?”

The problem is that in my limited experience, I’ve found that the industry in my own country has been anything but welcoming. It seems to favour with open arms and wine-and-cheese-filled red carpet events the grand established legends, and sadly leave us “up-and-comers” to navigate the storm on our own.

And even though I have endeavoured to pick-the-brain of the “established,” to try to decipher that secret password or special handshake that unlocks that unfathomable universe, I have been shut out. I have been expected to take the tiny bits and bites offered (and I mean tiny as if they don’t want to reveal their hand) from their extensive experience, and be on my way to figure it out on my own.

The funny thing is that the best support has come from fellow writers and bloggers. I have read many inspirational blogs like Putting in a Good Word or the fun online community of The Write Life. And in them I have discovered peers, fellow sloggers plugging away like me, OR those fortunately blessed and successful authors who, believe it or not, are eager to share their secrets, to reach out and help guide the rest of us.

And it is they who have me trust that hope still exists.

In the vivid and enthralling Guardian book series by William Joyce, the characters, when faced with insurmountable odds, recite the refrain, “I believe! I believe! I believe!” That is all that is encouraged in order to survive, as it is understood that that in itself is enough.

And so I will continue to slug it out and pray to God that someday, I will be lauded, not with a wine and cheese red carpet event (though I’m not saying I’d necessarily turn that down), but simply a book on a shelf in a store for all to share and enjoy.

I Believe! I Believe! I Believe!

peekiequeen copyright: October 26, 2013

Image from Amazon.com