The Impact of Loss

I feel bummed.

It’s amazing sometimes how something can trigger a mood that can’t be shaken. With the loss of Robin Williams this week, I am having a difficult time trying to just carry on.

I am so sad and devastated by his passing. He was a bright light. It is bright lights like him who help lift us out of our mundane moments into laughter and release and a cheery second or two of playful distraction.

Nevertheless, life must go on. I know that.

I also know that entertainment programs, social media, regular news will eventually peter out all their wild tales about Mr. Williams. Then those people sitting in front of the cameras and news services will sit with bated breath for the “next big headline.” It’s their job. I get it.

Yet I cannot transition that quickly.

There is an ache in loss that cannot be so easily brushed aside by turning the channel, flipping to another site or running away. 

When I learn of someone’s death, be it a celebrity, neighbour, family member or especially the tragic death of children, it’s like a smack in the face.

I start pondering my mortality, my path, my life and what I’m doing everyday to make it a meaningful one before my time is up.

But why does it take a shaking up for me to be so aware? Why can’t I be as alert every day?

We tend to fall into routine. That’s what happens. We slip right back in to our daily lives and get caught up with the appointments and errands and duties of our day. How on earth can we stop and “smell the roses,” be swept away by the calm swishing of trees outside our window? There’s no time for such luxury.We’re expected to perhaps acknowledge the loss and then get it together to move on.

For some people, that is exactly what they crave: distraction, new surroundings, something that takes the pain away. I understand that too. 

But to me, its that very shaking up, that blip in our path, that I am intrigued by.

That’s what my novel FALLOUT is about. It’s recognizing that the pain of loss doesn’t simply end when the media stops talking about it or when you no longer see the family or friends at a funeral. 

Loss can affect us profoundly, alter our way of thinking, force us to reevaluate priorities and live a little better with eyes more open to the world around us. 

One death can impact so many. 

Robin Williams to me was a symbol of creative energy let loose, of someone in touch with where he was in the world, endeavouring to make it a better place through laughter. I miss him.

Sadly he may not have realized his own powerful impact. But perhaps someone out there, a fan, a friend, a person suffering from the same struggles he quietly did, can learn from him, see him as someone who tried his best to live fully. And maybe in this awareness, a little less pain will be felt. 

peekiequeen Thoughts, copyright Saturday, August 16, 2014