Too Fast

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I live at a fast pace.

I’m not a race car driver (though I do like to drive fast. I have absolutely no patience for slow drivers).

I move fast. Eat fast. Clean fast. Think fast as I am always looking at the Big Picture, the next step. What needs to get done?

It’s like something innately pushes me forward, instilling in me the belief that I can’t waste a minute, not one, not a second. “Hurry Hurry!” the voice shouts in my ear.

Why?

When people ask, “If you could do anything right now, what would you do?” as a means of leisure and relaxation, the first thing that pops into mind is “Lie on the couch and read a magazine.” Of course that doesn’t mean that a trip abroad wouldn’t be a dream but just simply sitting still long enough to get through a magazine would be a true delight. (Come to think of it, I don’t think I have ever read a magazine cover to cover in one sitting.)

In this sitting still, I would have to relinquish control of everything else. The house would have to remain in whatever state it is in. The kids would have to busy themselves on their own. I would have to ignore every ping that my Smartphone sounds and on and on…

But it’s not only this pressure to get things done that drives me but something physical as well. Even sitting here right now composing this post is difficult because inside of me my body is urging, restless, antsy to keep “doing.”

The upside of this of course is accomplishing a lot… when everything falls into place and I am in fact productive at keeping pace.

The downside is accidents and catastrophes. What I mean here is simple little things like scraping my forefinger reaching into a cupboard hurriedly to get a drinking glass. Or the most humorous to my family is getting a belt loop on my jeans somehow wrapped around a door handle when I’m rushing on my way out.

You can tell me to slow down. I know I should. But…I just cannot seem to “relax” move slowly and breathe. I do breathe. At least I don’t forget that in the rush, but it’s tight and carefully in line with my rapid movements.

I’ve written in the past about “marking moments,” taking the time to process those little vignettes in our daily lives worth contemplating. Yet here I whine about moving too fast to even take them in.

I think the life of a writer is all about thinking and noting and evaluating our lives. We are richer when we appreciate a steady pace, observing the glorious world around us.

I must learn, and fully at that, that I must cool my heels, take my time and not be so quick to do, move, “get there” as if I’m running out of the time I’ve been given.

Because if I don’t, I surely will pay the price when a simple pause is too late to come by.

Paula Antonello Moore, Thoughts, Copyright: Sunday, October 19, 2014

PLEASE NOTE: I will be taking some time away from blogging this week as I will be involved in some HEAVY editing of my manuscript. Even the desire to blog frequently has interfered with the novel writing a bit too. So I am going to try and slow down. But please don’t let that stop you from visiting The Expressible Café. There is still so much to see and enjoy here. Do come on by. Cheers!

Image from Classroom Aid

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