A critter that critter that plagued us all here

Has finally been caught and has ended our fear.

He roamed and he ran and he clattered about

And made me explode in a boisterous shout.


He merely decided to move in one day

And thought we’d be fine with his racing and play,

But waking to hear him scoot right cross the roof

Was nothing at all like a dear reindeer hoof.


We all called him Philbert, a furry friend not

We wanted him gone, lost or simply just caught.

Then suddenly critter two popped into to see

If he could do better than Philbert, with me.


A second damn critter? No way and no how

My anger erupted hysterical now!

A phone call was made and the pest people came,

They knew what to do in this masterful game.


Then strangely the second one scared off the first

But only to be rounded up in a burst.

Now we are just waiting for Philbert to run

To think he has reclaimed the roof with his fun.


But this time we’re ready, won’t make a mistake,

Because dearest Santa might scream and might shake,

If he thinks another is stealing his spot,

He’ll move on from our home, forget what he’s brought.


So Philbert beware, this is our Christmastime

And though it’s for sharing, your burrowing’s a crime.

We will not be good with you dancing around

Until you are gone in a trap on the ground.


We don’t mean you harm, we just want you to leave

And let us relax with a cozy reprieve.

That doesn’t mean you are allowed to return

Be gone, find another home you can upturn.


Paula Antonello Moore, Poetry. Copyright: Tuesday, December 8, 2015.

Image: Stand-in Squirrel, from ProRoofing.