I just returned from a brisk wintry walk. The sun was shining and I was happy.
Happy to have TWO FEET!
Suddenly, I really needed people. I needed devices: crutches, one-leg crutch, rolling chairs, plastic cast boot. The sadness and frustration was suffocating! But beyond the helplessness, I completely and utterly despised the fact that my mobility was limited.
I ADORE walking! The fact that I couldn’t do that was crippling to my mind, my heart and my soul.
Yet, during those six + weeks of “infirmity” I came to realize how much movement, freedom, fresh air, the sun on my face, all nurtured and empowered my creative spirit. How just moving forward, taking in the sights, the sounds, the glorious scents of the world, was a precious gift. And not being able to experience any of that, crushed me in more ways than I ever imagined possible.
So, I’m not exactly celebrating an anniversary here.
I’m marking the fact that I did recover. I healed up from that difficult episode in my life (though it felt like forever when I was in it). It made me stronger physically and refreshed creatively, coming off disheartening limitations and exuberantly being able to MOVE forward again.
I appreciate and savour walking much more now.
I crave it! Even when it’s bitter cold out. Even when I’m exhausted. Even when I’d much rather stay still under cozy warm blankets indoors. Because my soul desires it. My mind yearns for it. I need it!
And for that I am eternally grateful.
Of course, it doesn’t mean that my ankle doesn’t still twinge just a little bit whenever I pass a skating rink or sheet of ice anywhere. 🙂
Paula Antonello Moore, Prose. Copyright: Saturday, February 3, 2018.
Image: Crutched by P.A. Moore.